Last year when I was really depressed about my life and the state I was in, I wrote the darkest poem I’d ever written, it was called Suicide…
I wrote it down as I would wake up imagining ways that I could end it, “there’s a knife in the kitchen!” “You could use your dressing gown cord!” I wonder if the light cord would hold my weight…..!”
What I needed was friendship, support and love. To be absolutely honest, I didn’t get a lot of that! What I did find was that when I was at the very end of my rope, Jesus was there with me. He gently encouraged me to dust myself off, stand up and to walk in humility.
What followed in those two short weeks after I had been having those thoughts, just over 12 months ago, was a blinding revelation of Hope! I hadn’t appreciated it’s full power until I had none. No hope of reconciliation, no hope of change and no hope in life.
It was then that I was inspired to write this poem, it’s called Hope and still brings a tear to my eye as I read it.
Hope is a cloud, the size of a man’s hand,
Hope is a burial plot in a distant promised land,
Hope is a dream while you languish in a jail,
Hope is a song that lifts spirits when you fail
Hope is a royal seal set upon a King’s decree,
Hope is a baby saved to set his people free,
Hope is a shepherd boy who defies a giant’s yell,
Hope is a prostitute who hides spies inside a well
Hope brings comfort, hope is kind
Hope turns water into wine
Hope defies all reason,
Hope ignores the facts,
Hope is a coin in a fish’s mouth, When it’s time to pay your tax!
Hope doesn’t know when it’s beaten,
Hope doesn’t give up the fight, Hope gives you strength when you’re weakest,
Hope turns your darkness to light
Hope can walk on water,
Hope makes you jump out the boat, Hope opens eyes of the blind man, Hope makes an axe-head to float
Hope will stand beside you,
When you’re thrown into the flame, Hope can sleep through thunderstorms,
And command the wind and rain
Hope lowers a paralysed man, Through a hole in someone’s roof, Hope discards all circumstance, And believes upon the Truth!
Hope is a hug, hope is a word, Hope is a smile, hope is absurd!
Hope always perseveres,
But never counts the cost,
Hope leaves behind the ninety-nine,
To find the one that’s lost,
Hope is a loving Father,
Waiting for his long lost son, Hope is the weakling in the tribe, Crying out, “the battle’s won!”
Hope is a wounded Saviour,
Hanging on a cruel tree,
Hope cries “Father, forgive them! They’re so blind, they cannot see!”
Hope breathes life into coldest tomb
Hope breathes life into barren womb
Hope is resurrection,
The Way, the Truth, the Life,
Hope accepts you completely,
When you’re suffering with strife
Hope, His name is Jesus,
Hope, this is my song,
For He lifts my head and wipes my tear,
And rectifies each wrong.
Hope is my Redeemer,
Hope, my coming King,
Hope, my raison d’être,
Hope, my everything!
P J Deakin 2014 ©